Broken Wisdom It may not be perfect, but It's better than your advice

28Mar/10

You’re Doing it Wrong, Dating Advice: Why “Nice Guys” will never ask You out

This is part of my push to educate people in the ways of intelligent dating and is an aspect of the system of advice I affectionately refer to as "Get Picky."

Ladies, if you think "I must have terrible taste in men, because I always end up dating assholes" then I have some good news for you. It's not your fault, the odds are stacked against your favor. More often than not the assholes are the only ones who will ask you out. It is not because there is anything wrong with you, they just don't care about you and that makes it easier for them. Allow me to explain.

When a Bro (I use the term "Bro" because they are one of the lowest forms of human beings and generally have no feelings towards the opposite sex that do not originate from their pants) enters a club or bar, they look around at all of the attractive women and think to themselves "Yep, my odds look good tonight!" When he approaches a woman and she turns him down, he just moves on to the next set of walking tits. He has no emotional attachment to the girl he approaches, he has no agenda to fulfill a girls dreams, he has no plans to ever take her out for a romantic dinner that ends with hot chocolate while watching a meteor shower. His end goal is to find someone to share a bed with for a finite period of time. At best he could be looking for a steady lay. Either way, he doesn't actually care about you and therefore he doesn't run the risk of being hurt by you, which is why it is so easy to approach you or ask you out.

However, a Nice Guy IS afraid to ask you out precisely because he does run the risk of being hurt by you. When a Nice Guy enters a club or bar, he looks around and thinks to himself "Do I know anyone here? Better make sure I don't make a fool of myself." A Nice Guy wont approach you, because if you do shoot him down he isn't just going to turn to another girl, think "Hey, she has boobs too" and try again. The Nice Guy will most likely be crushed, lose faith in himself and be convinced that he is not "good enough" (bro-ish enough) to attract women. Unlike the bro, the Nice Guy has everything to lose and is afraid to risk losing it by asking you out.

This should explain why so many women date terrible men. It's not that you have terrible taste. The terrible men are just the only ones actually asking you out.

This behavior can be easily explained if we compare it to the lottery. Very few people would play a lottery with a 1 in 10 chance to win one million dollars if the ticket cost $10,000. It doesn't matter that even if you lose 9 out of 10 times you would still have made $900,000. The initial risk is just too high for most people to even attempt it. Now, if there was a lottery with a 1 in 200 million chance of winning one million (Powerball perhaps?) and the cost of a ticket was only $1, you are going to get a lot of people paying for those tickets. No one really cares if they lose a single dollar. Losing $10,000, now that's a bit scarier.

Nice Girls out there may be wondering why so many Nice Guys date "Skanky Bitches." It's a fair question and deserves a fair answer. Skanky Bitches actually got off their asses and asked these Nice Guys out, because they too had nothing to lose if they were turned down. It really only "cost them a dollar" to try.

(Nice Guys need to get off their asses too)

Thoughts?  Opinions?  Leave a comment below!

Nice guys, if you actually want a great girlfriend you are going to have to do something about it, and the first step is building confidence. If you are tired of being "just a friend", "like a brother to me", or "too nice" then learn how you can change all this by clicking here.

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